Incredible power lies in the hands of parents. As Christian parents in America, we have so much freedom and ability to help steer our children toward the passionate pursuit of Jesus and His Kingdom on earth. We raise our children in the Church, taking them to Sunday School, having them participate in Awana, Bible quizzing and Christian scouting programs, all with the hope that they will grow up to be “good Christians.”

I was talking to a mother of teens, and she was grieving, relating to me what has been some of her philosophy in child raising. She had been under the impression that it would be wrong for her to try and influence the outcome of their lives—their career choices. She had thought that they would rebel, thinking that she was imposing her own desires upon their lives. She had even seen other parents who had pressured their children into hobbies or careers that really were an unfulfilled dream of the parents, rather than a true interest of the children, and she did not want to be guilty of being a “stage mom.”

How many of us have asked our children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, thinking that we are helping them to develop a sense of personal identity? This is the question that our culture has trained us to ask. However, this dear mother, with her children now in their young adult years, had realized that something was terribly errant in her child-raising philosophy. Perhaps too late she realized that she wanted her children to serve Jesus in ministry, and yet she had never suggested it to them. Instead of asking what they want to be, we should be asking, “What does Jesus want you to be when you grow up?”

All of us would agree that we desire our children to grow up knowing and obeying Jesus. We think about all the negative things, the areas of sin, that we want them to avoid by being a Christian, and we think of the blessings that will be theirs if they choose to be Christians. However, being a “Christian” means being submitted to Jesus. He is our King. Our life is an extension of His life. As Paul said, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” We are no longer the one making the decisions for our life. We don’t choose whether or not we will go to college. We don’t choose whether we want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a business man. All of our life’s decisions are submitted to the King, Jesus. Are we training our children to ask Jesus what His plan is for their lives?

I have read stories from missionaries of past generations, leaving their home country on the boat with their families standing on the dock, waving goodbye to them. Those goodbyes were very different from the missionary sendoffs that we experience today. Some of those missionaries even sold themselves into slavery, in order to be in contact with those who needed Jesus. Missionaries to Africa around the turn of the century packed their belongings in coffins. They, and their parents, knew that their life- expectancy on the mission field was approximately two years. Yes, there was terrible grief in the separation, but there was also a sense of joy in obeying the Divine calling upon their children’s lives.

God’s purpose for the Church is clearly defined in Scripture. We are to be about our Father’s business, which is redeeming people from every tongue, tribe and nation. All our resources are to go toward finishing this task. Have we considered that our children are a resource that God has placed in our hands? We have them only for a short time, and then they are off living their own lives.

Perhaps my memory is skewed, or I was just a product of my particular environment, but I grew up with a sense that to receive a “calling” from God into ministry was the highest kind of vocation. I remember proud expressions upon mothers’ faces, when an announcement was made that one of her children was answering God’s call to service. Missionaries were honored in my church, and the children looked up to them with reverence. Now, that I am an adult, I realize that missionaries are no more spiritual than any other Christian, however, there is a sense that God has chosen them to be about His work and to receive the rewards of a fruitful harvest from a life of laboring in His fields.

Today, in this age, the atmosphere is very different. I often speak to young people who are hearing God call them to the foreign field, and I am grieved to hear that their Christian parents are more than reluctant to send them. The difficulties of leaving one’s own culture and going to another people are abundant, but often the greatest burden upon these young people, called by God to GO, is that of the constant pleading of their parents not to go. Many are faced with a sense of guilt and shame that their parents are not pleased with their “career choice.”

What is it that we are hoping for our children? What do we envision for them? What are our goals for them? Will we be pleased to see them fall into the same, old, hum drum existence that many of us have led—working, eating, spending, sleeping—just to get up tomorrow and do it again? For what? Wouldn’t we rather be thrilled that they are going to be something for the Kingdom of God, that their lives are going to count for eternity, that through them and their efforts, Jesus is going to bring peoples into the Kingdom that otherwise would never have known about Him?

I am reminded of the old hymn, “O Zion Haste.” It is a call for the Church to give of all that She has to the work of the Kingdom. The last stanza says,

“Give of your sons, to bear the message glorious. Give of thy wealth to speed them on their way. Pour out thy soul for them in prayer victorious. And all thou spendest Jesus will repay.”

Are we willing to do that? “Give” is not a passive word. We are not sitting back, just waiting for the day when one of our children comes to us and says, “God has called me to the mission field.” I know another mother who once said to me when her children were young, “Oh, I think it would be a wonderful thing if my children would become missionaries when they grow up.” Unless we hold up for our children models, heroes of history, and encourage them to follow the example of those in past generations who have given their lives for the Gospel, our children will choose instead to live the American Dream.

Where did we get the idea that we are not to influence our children’s lives? Scripture says that we are to “train up a child in the way he should go.” Each child has a “way” he should go. Each child has a “destiny” that God has planned, while He was knitting them together in their mother’s womb. Our responsibility as parents is to find out from God what is the “way” that they should go and train them up in it. If we do not influence our children, someone else will. Advertisers, perverted rock stars and television characters are all too eager to conform our children to their image.

I remember at a young age, telling my dad that I wanted to be doctor. He said, “What do you think about being a preacher? Maybe God would have you be a preacher.” I remember thinking, “Girls aren’t preachers,” and going on my way. His response surprised me, but it stuck deep down in my spirit and has stayed with me for all the years since, encouraging me to serve Jesus with my life, even beyond my own dreams or expectations. Parents, we have the power to mold and form our children, as God leads us, to become a generation of young Christians that will turn the world upside down with the Gospel and will be the generation to usher in the reign of King Jesus among every tongue, tribe and nation!

It should not come as a surprise, nor as a regret to us, when one of our children announces, “I am going to Africa to be a missionary,” because we will already have heard from the time they were little what God’s plan has been for them, and we will have been encouraging and guiding them in that direction for years. We will be able to rejoice when we see that they are fulfilling their Divine destiny!

(Actual Letter to a Boot Camp Student )

Dearest Daughter,

I finally read the latest issue of Send this morning. In reading it, I was caused to think more realistically about the fact that as you go to Africa, there may be death awaiting you from disease, persecution, accident, or many other things. This strikes great fear in me, but at the same time, I would rather give up all my children to the mission endeavor than to have them pursuing worldly passions and dying in the process. I have given you to the Lord totally and pray that as you go, our hearts will go with you in reality as well as our bodies to follow in pursuing what God wants for us. Pray that God will refresh my spirit and fill me for His service. I really desire that He do so and have asked Him to fill me...

Love,
Mom